February 17 -- In Praise of Stay at Home Moms

So Evan woke last night with bad tummy issues which didn't really resolve until about noon today, and only with a lot of walking the floor while holding him upright, Mylicon, backrubbing, bicycling his legs, and anything else I could think of that is supposed to relieve gas and/or reflux (I think it's mainly gas but there was definitely a reflux-y component to the night's episodes ... lots of gurgling, wailing, arching his back, etc). I actually called the pediatrician to see if they wanted to see him (they didn't).

So after I finally got Evan settled around noon, all of a sudden I got a massive headache. While the timing was fortuitous in that I didn't have the headache while Evan was screaming, it robbed me of some of my ability to enjoy Evan's alert time. We didn't get out at all today, which means I haven't left the house since Sunday. Instead of pulling out all the stops to stimulate him, I spent a lot of time with him on my shoulder, watching TV and trying to get my head to stop hurting, which it finally did around 6 PM.

All this got me thinking about how truly difficult the life of a stay at home Mom is. There are no breaks. Kid's got a problem? You have to take care of it. You've got a problem? Tough. And it's not like you can ever say stop the ride, I'm ready to get off. I mean, if I had been desperate maybe I could've called Auntie Lisa or someone to come and sit with me and lend an extra pair of hands, but you're still "on call", and it's not their responsibility OR their problem to come and lend you a hand.

Even when things are good, you've got to make sure your child is getting his stimulation for the day. Tummy time. Story time. Nap time ... if he will nap. And if he does nap, it's not like you can sit there and read a book. The house needs to be cleaned. Laundry needs to be done. Grocery lists need to be filled out, and bills need to be paid, and notes need to be written, phone calls returned, etc.

I thought about this while surveying the destruction of my home today, around 6 PM, after both Evan and I were feeling better. Because one of us was having issues for most of the day, taking care of the house fell by the wayside ... but now that we're better, it's got to be taken care of. It's not like I had a bad day at work but I can leave and pick it up tomorrow when I have my full brain. No ... I'm sitting amongst the wreckage of my "bad" day. If I don't clean it, I have to sit here and stare at it all night. So I cleaned, Evan in a sling on my chest. And now I feel better, Evan's happily chilling out in his swing, and I have a second to blog, but I'm trying to do that and eat at the same time. I spend my entire day multitasking, as I'm sure all moms can appreciate.

When I go back to work in April, I will have that chance to stay stop the ride, I'm ready to get off. If Evan is cranky one day, it'll be the day care staff's problem. I, on the other hand, will be at work, immersed in some veteran's problem, or having a lunch with my friends, or doing something intellectual and grownup. I will be worried to pieces about Evan, and wondering if he is OK, and if he's being cuddled, if he's being properly stimulated, and if he's happy. And I know I will feel guilty that I'm not the one holding him. But at the same time, having the adult time will be really nice. Stay at home moms don't get that luxury. Ever.

So this is my attempt at an ode to the stay at home mom. I know this hasn't been all that eloquent, and may be rambling, but I hope you all get the drift. Although we all know that staying at home is a full-time job, I don't think anyone will ever appreciate how tough of a job it is till you've done it for a while. Anyone staying at home now has my deepest respect and appreciation ... and my help, if you should ever need it. Especially those of you who have more than one ... wow. That's all I have to say ... just wow.

And Mom, thanks for everything.

Here are today's pictures ... I didn't have a chance to get a lot of good shots today since Evan seemed to be fussy every time I whipped out the camera, but here's what I got --









Here's my pictures for the day: